Category: Emotional Wellbeing

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Emotional Wellbeing Healthy Boundaries Personal Growth Relationships Self Development

Practising Discernment in Relationships: Seeing Clearly Without Losing Yourself

In today’s fast-paced world filled with opinions, social noise, and emotional triggers, relationships can feel overwhelming. We often swing between compassion and self-preservation, wondering where to draw the line between them.

This is where discernment becomes essential. Discernment is not about judging others or becoming distant; it’s about developing the clarity to make wise, grounded choices that protect your well-being while respecting others.

Ego vs Essence – Two Layers of the Self

Within each person exists two powerful layers:

  • The Ego: Built from fears, conditioning, and survival patterns.
  • The Essence: Our deeper nature is calm, whole, and inherently generous.

When we view life through the lens of the ego, flaws and insecurities become more pronounced. When we see through essence, we notice beauty, light, and untapped potential.

The challenge? Most people move between these states, influenced by both fear and love. Discernment means acknowledging both without idealising or condemning either.

The Power of Discernment – Balancing Light and Shadow

True discernment is like adjusting a camera lens to capture the whole picture. It allows you to see both the shadow and the light in someone, without collapsing them into “all good” or “all bad.”

Ask yourself:

  • Am I engaging with this person’s higher self, or trying to rescue their wounded self?
  • Do they demonstrate openness and respect, or resistance and defensiveness?

Discernment doesn’t require harshness or quick exits. It asks for honesty about what supports your growth and what drains it.

Loving Without Losing Yourself – The Art of Healthy Boundaries

Empathy is beautiful, but unchecked, it can lead to over-giving and emotional burnout. When you see the best in someone, you may feel tempted to pour love and energy into their healing, even when they aren’t ready to do the work themselves.

Here’s the truth: You cannot love someone into wholeness if they refuse to take responsibility for their growth.

Practising discernment means:

  • Setting clear, guilt-free boundaries.
  • Accepting that healing is a personal responsibility, not a rescue mission.
  • Recognising when your energy is better directed toward your well-being.

When to Step Away From Conflict

Some situations call for silence instead of struggle. Not every argument is worth your peace. Before engaging in a heated discussion, ask:

  • Is this person open to hearing another perspective?
  • Will this conversation lead to growth, or just drain both of us?

Walking away isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. Protecting your energy allows you to show up where your love and effort truly matter.

Closing Thought:

  • Discernment isn’t about building walls—it’s about choosing where your heart feels safe, seen, and nourished. When you learn to see both light and shadow without judgment, you free yourself to love wisely—and live authentically.
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Creative Journaling Emotional Wellbeing Healing & Personal Growth Identity & Inner Work Identity work Inner Healing Personal Growth Reclaiming the Self Reconnecting with Self Self-Reflection The Stories We Carry Therapeutic Writing Therapeutic Writing & Creativity Uncategorized

Reconnecting with the Story Beneath the Surface

Image by Jenny McClymont

We are all shaped by stories — the ones we were told, the ones we absorbed in silence, and the ones we constructed to make sense of the world around us. These narratives can offer comfort and protection, mainly when they help us survive what once felt unbearable.

But sometimes, the stories that helped us cope begin to obscure the truth of who we are.

You may find yourself functioning well on the outside, yet quietly carrying beliefs like “I have to hold it all together,” or “If I shine too brightly, it won’t be safe.” These hidden scripts can echo through your relationships, your work, and your inner world — until they no longer feel like reflections, but restrictions.

Reconnecting with the story beneath the surface means asking: What am I believing about myself that no longer serves me? What part of me longs to be seen, heard, or reclaimed?

Through gentle reflection, journaling, movement, stillness, or expressive art, we can begin to reconnect with the self that existed before the coping — the intuitive, creative, and grounded self still quietly present beneath the noise.

This is not about erasing the past. It’s about listening with kindness to what lies beneath, softening the old patterns, and allowing something truer to emerge.

You are not your coping mechanisms.

You are not the story others wrote for you.

There is a deeper truth within you — and it’s time to let it speak.

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Creativity and Healing Emotional Wellbeing Reflection Self Discovery Therapeutic Writing Uncategorized

Reclaiming the Self Beneath the Story

We all carry stories, constructed meanings we’ve absorbed over time to help us understand who we are. These stories often begin early, shaped by what we were told, what we experienced, and what we learnt to believe in order to feel accepted or safe.

But these are not the only stories.

Sometimes the stories we carry begin to feel heavy, defined by anxiety, perfectionism, overdoing, or by exhaustion, silence, and withdrawal. These aren’t just habits; they’re survival responses. We might feel pulled to do too much, to always be ‘on,’ or to find ourselves shutting down and stepping back from the world. Either way, the result is the same: we lose touch with the part of us that simply is, before the fear, before the coping.

That part of you hasn’t disappeared. It is still there. The original self, creative, steady, and intuitive, sits beneath the surface, waiting patiently for space to emerge. It’s not the self that performs or seeks approval, but the one who understands the essence of reality.

As you begin to reflect, create, move, or write, something shifts. You’re not just analysing yourself; you’re meeting yourself. The quiet rhythm of truth begins to return.

Some gentle invitations for reflection:

  • What parts of me have I hidden to be accepted?
  • Where did I learn that I needed to be more, or less, than I am?
  • What am I ready to release to reconnect with what’s true?

These reflections are not about fixing who you are. They are about remembering. These reflections aim to soften the grip of mistaken identity and re-enter the quietness of your own knowing.

When we live from that place, not from reaction but from presence, something profound begins to happen: we feel more whole, more honest, and more alive.